So I've missed a few months... did anyone notice?

I am trying to recreate this blog, seeing as it was insanely long before dishwasher broke and ate it (see Tuesday morning). It was very funny, but for now - let's just try to remember the basics.

A few things I've noticed about being pregnant:

• My energy level is comparable to a roller coaster
• Some days my luck runs out
• Baking babies takes a lot of room
• Eating is a sport - the only one I'm good at
• The ability to bend over is not one I will take for granted again
• The fat that's attaching to my belly is coming from my brain
• something else keen and astute that I'll remember in my sleep tonight

To explain how 'Gung-ho' I've been in the past few days, let's take a look at what all a 19-week pregnant woman can accomplish: (If I don't blog it, I won't believe it later)

Sunday afternoon:

1. Retreive ladder from parents'.
2. Climb ladder and clean out gutters and downspouts.
3. Remove sticks and limbs from roof.
4. Enjoy a short sunbath.
5. Sweep majority of annoying pine needles from roof before they undo my work.
6. Climb off roof.
7. Observe huge hornets nest on back gutter.
8. Throw rocks at huge hornets nest on back gutter to be sure it's empty.
9. Poke huge hornets nest with a stick.
10. Climb ladder and remove hornet condo from eave with broom handle.
11. Realize broom handle is almost not long enough to go through.
12. Preserve nest on front porch (like a deer head) for all to see.
13. Take pictures and post on flickr.
14. Find a outdoor socket on the other side of hornets nest that was blocked from view.
15. Climb ladder and remove old bulbs broken off inside.
16. Replace with new flood lights.
17. Tickle myself at pretending to 'spy' through Sara's window
18. Need to rush off ladder to pee.
19. Entertain youngest sister and mother by showing her the hornets nest and new lights.

Monday morning:

1. Dryer quits at 1 am.
2. Fiddle with dryer for 20 minutes.
3. Grumble grumble and head back to bed.
4. Wake up, shower, eat.
5. Grumble at dryer.
6. Turn over washer to get to work.
7. Yes, the washer needed a belt. Pregnant brain not kicked in yet.
8. Realize there is more work to do than I can do by myself.
9. Start fiddling with dryer again.
10. Nothing works.
11. Won't turn on.
12. Check circuit breaker, plug, power, fuses. Nada.
13. Get frustrated and go outside.
14. See banisters missing from deck.
15. Retrieve banisters and nail them back on.
16. Gloat at the ability to at least complete one task.
17. Find all loose nails and hammer back down.
18. Feels good to hammer.
19. Grumble about the lawn not being mowed.
20. Find all pieces to dog fence.
21. All present and accounted for, and they fit.
22. Bolt and tie up fencing.
23. Laugh at Ginger who is not able to get out.
24. Victory!
25. Pick up yard debris from storm and put on old stump to burn.
26. Gather all burnables from yard for fire.
27. Clean out under deck.

Monday afternoon:

1. Start fire.
2. **next few steps removed because I don't want to hear from my mothers**
3. Turn on spicket and pull hose to back yard as safety precaution.
4. Spray around smoke ring.
5. I'm obviously more Cherokee than Irish.
6. And now I'm thinking there must be lots of Polish in there, too...
7. Go to turn water off.
8. Spicket is broken.
9. Spicket is spewing from every orofice.
10. Call hubby to see if he knows where a cut-off valve is.
11. Retrieve 55-gallon barrel to catch water while I look for a cut-off valve.
12. Crawl under the house and see nothing resembling a cut-off.
13. Go to the other side - still nothing obvious.
14. Go back to the spicket.
15. 55-gallon barrel is overflowing.
16. It's annoying you that I'm typing spicket instead of spigot, isn't it?
17. Good.
18. Cuz that's how ya say it.
19. Hooked on phonics worked fer me.
20. Try to hold the spicket and call surrogate mother.
21. She suggests turning it off at street.
22. I go to street, see meter spinning wildly, freak out.
23. Realize I need two more of me.
24. Call hubby to come help.
25. Stand, holding spicket, with arm, leg, butt... until hubby gets home.
26. Hubby goes under house, finds spicket problem and cut-off valve.
27. Finally let go of spicket.
28. Hehe.. I'm still saying spicket. Heh.
29. Go to appliance store for washer and dryer parts.
30. Drive to Home Depot for spicket.
31. Stop by Cookout on the way home.
32. Hubby replaces spicket.
33. Hubby points out bright yellow cut-off valve in front of my face.
34. I think hubby is Polish.

Monday evening:

1. Begin work on washer.
2. Hubby helps.
3. Replace belt, put back together.
4. Plug back in - it works!
5. Victory!
6. Wash grease off every skin surface exposed.
7. Mumble at dryer.
8. Relate day's occurances to Sara.
9. Visualize with Sara germs swimming in the washer, and sunbathing in the dryer.
10. Dude - you're fuzzy!
11. LOL, realize I'm delirious, and need sleep.

Tuesday morning:

1. Wake up to the sound of hubby running back inside.
2. Hubby tells me the car battery is dead.
3. He begrudingly takes the truck.
4. Polish, I tell ya.
5. Hear Sara up and about, and quickly dress to hitch a ride to parents'.
6. Retreive 'borrowed' jumper cables, hop in Dad's truck.
7. Old blue will never die.
8. Come home, jump car off.
9. Victory!
10. Come inside, grumble at dryer.
11. Proceed to completely break dryer down and rebuild.
12. No obvious glitches perceived.
13. Frustrated, put dryer back together.
14. Take wall socket apart.
15. Still in good shape.
16. Check circuit breaker one more time.
17. Nothing.
18. But circuit breaker bothers me.
19. One of the four is not completely ON.
20. Frustrated, I pull it out, and notice it is in fact, broken.
21. Curse out loud in French.
22. Not Polish, I swear.
23. Heh.
24. Push it back in to reset, and dryer starts.
25. Not victory.
26. Until I buy a new breaker, I have to reset it every time I open the door.
27. It is running, but it won't heat.
28. Dryer that doesn't heat = no good.
29. Give up and load dishwasher.
30. Start dishwasher.
31. Go into living room to type funny blog.
32. Hubby calls to say he's coming home for lunch.
33. Type blog faster.
34. Almost done.
35. When hubby is almost home, I go into kitchen to fix him lunch.
36. Notice floor is flooded.
37. Dishwasher is spewing water from everywhere.
38. *pressing Save as Draft so history does not repeat.*
39. Grab every available towel to soak up water.
40. Only two are dry - the others are in the wash.
41. The dryer's not working.
42. Cut off the dishwasher.
43. Still spews.
44. Cut the breaker to the dishwasher.
45. Same breaker for the computer.
46. Ironically, I don't realize this until after 50.
47. Try to open door to see how full it is.
48. Small wave soaks me to my ankles.
49. Slam door shut and nearly cry.
50. Go into living room to retreive phone.
51. Turn around to check email, realize the computer is off.
52. Scream and cuss in English at the top of my lungs.
53. Call surrogate mother (again) for some sort of help.
54. Tells me to call landlord.
55. Uh, Duh. That makes too much sense.
56. Not Polish, really.
57. Bang head against wall for such brilliancy.
58. Pregnant brain kicked in full swing.
59. Call landlord, who is sending plumber.
60. Luckily, dishwasher is under house warranty.
61. Might have him replace ice maker fitting on fridge while he's here.
62. What? I've already bought the parts.

Tuesday afternoon agenda:

• Watch TV
• Forget work
• Wait on plumber
• Rest aching back.
• Call and whine to Dad.
• Sit in front porch swing. While whining to Dad.
• Remember tomorrow is Jars of Clay concert.
• And the baby likes it when I'm happy.
• And kickboxes when I'm not.
• And likes chocolate.

See? I told you if I didn't blog it, no one would ever believe me.

This is all true. Seriously. I don't think I even exaggerated any. *checks again* Nope. All true.

*presses Save as Draft again just in case*